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Standing in the kitchen after having slept almost 14 hours straight, I have a ridiculous headache at the thought of talking to my Mom. I know she’s going to have a million questions, and I probably won’t be able to answer most of them. It would be easier if I could wait another week or so, but I might literally have to kill Maria Hammonds if I don’t call her today.  I may need to have coffee spiked with Tequila before our conversation, but morning drinking is something only alcoholics do. I’m going to call her on her cell phone. She won’t answer because she never has that thing on her. She can whine and moan all she wants, but she won’t be able to dispute the fact that I cal… <BANG, BANG, BANG>

Oh, God! I know it’s my Mom on the other side of that door. The universe is so out to get me these days. Maybe I’ll just pretend I’m not home.

“I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE, EVENING. OPEN UP!”

My coffee isn’t even finished brewing. She has a knack for showing up at the most inconvenient time.

HOLD ON, MOM. I HAVE TO PUT SOME PANTS ON!

“GET OVER YOURSELF, EVENING. THERE’S NOTHING ON YOU THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN BEFORE!”

She’s going to wake my neighbors with all of this unnecessary yelling, and then I’ll have to hear about it at our next monthly meeting.

I open the door and my Mother is standing there in a very elegant, over the top white suit with a humongous hat covering her curly tresses. She could be headed to church, or she could be headed to the grocery store. She doesn’t really believe in casual clothes, so you never know.
Good morning, Mom. These early, unannounced visits bring me an indescribable amount of joy.

“Well, it’s my understanding that you should be well rested. Didn’t you sleep until 2 p.m. yesterday?”

Yes, Mom, I did sleep in a bit yesterday. I have a lot going on.

“You can’t justify sleeping half the day away by saying you have a lot going on. That’s illogical, Evening. “If you got out of bed at a decent hour, maybe you wouldn’t have so much going on, dear.”

My Mom really has no patience for laziness. She’s up at the crack of dawn every day, and by 10:00 a.m. she’s usually accomplished more than I do in a full day.

Mom, have a seat please, we need to talk. Actually, I need to talk and you need to listen. Are you okay with that?

“Yes. Is everything okay, Eve?”

Yes and no. You’re going to have a lot of questions, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to answer all of them. There’s still a lot I don’t know.

“Are you sick? Are you dying? Dear lord… What’s wrong child? I can feel my blood pressure rising!”

Bring it down a notch, Viola Davis. I’m not dying! I’m going to let you read this letter I got from Dr. Salaam at Windham Fertility Center, and then we’ll discuss it.

I’m watching her scan the note and I kid you not, she turned into the heart eyes emoji right in front of me. She looks up at me all lovingly, but she’s speechless for the first time in her life.

Say something, Mom!

“I’M A GRANDMA!”

That is definitely not the reaction I was expecting. I just knew she’d have some snarky remarks about my decision to freeze my eggs in the first place.

“When do I get to meet my Granddaughter?”

I don’t know, Mom. I haven’t even met her yet. I just found out about her a couple of days ago. I’m not even sure what I’m gonna do.

“What do you mean you’re not sure what you’re going to do? You’re going to get this child and raise her, Evening!”

It’s not that simple. Her father still has rights too. I’m sure he’s not going to let her go without a fight.

“I’m not afraid to fight for your child, and you shouldn’t be afraid either!”

It’s not that I’m afraid. I just want to make sure I do what’s best for Davinder. This can’t be all about me. What if her dad is a good person, who did a bad thing? I can’t just rip her away from the only family she’s ever known.

I can’t even believe I just entertained the idea that Vincent might not be a piece of shit. Wow, so much growth, in so little time. I’m amazing.

“Evening, no matter what kind of person he is, or what kind of household he’s provided for her, you deserve to have a relationship with your child. I deserve to have a relationship with my granddaughter! What if you never have another child? You’re 35 and you haven’t had a decent relationship since Cris disappeared. This could be our last chance!”

You’re convinced I’m going to die with 20 cats, aren’t you?

“That’s preposterous! You don’t even like cats.”

Ugh, this is all such a mess, Mom. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to have a child on my terms.

“Well unfortunately things didn’t work out that way. Let’s just focus on the situation at hand. I want to meet my granddaughter!”

Mom, calm down.  It could be a while before we get to meet her. There’s still a lot I don’t know.

“Well hurry up and figure this out, child! I need more information so I can go shopping for my granddaughter! I’m going to dress her like a princess!”

It’s good you’ve been able to identify what’s really important, Mom.

“Try to put yourself in my shoes, Eve. That brother of yours is probably never going to settle down long enough to have a child. And again, you’re not getting any younger. I have to take what I can get.”

I was ready and willing to give you a grandchild years ago. If only Cris hadn’t been eaten alive by fire ants because he fell asleep at the park one afternoon. My life would be so different.

“Sigh… Anyway, I’m quite confident we can provide a very nice life for her. It might be different than what she’s used to, but we have plenty of money. She’ll adjust.”

Mom is so optimistic. I don’t know why she has so much faith in me. I’ve never even had a pet. There’s a very real possibility I’m incapable of keeping a living, breathing creature alive.  Not to mention, I have no motherly instincts. None of my friends with kids have ever asked me to babysit. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

“I have to leave, my dear. I have a few errands to run and a lot of shopping to do for…What was her name again?”

Davinder.

“What a lovely name. I can’t wait to be able to place a face with it.”

She turns to leave, then stops and gives me the tightest hug ever.  She’s thrilled to be a Grandma.

I’ve never seen such joy in my Mom’s eyes. People always say your parents love your kids a little more than they love you.  She hasn’t even met Davinder yet, and I can pretty much confirm that’s true.

I think her enthusiasm has rubbed off on me. All of the angst I’ve felt up until this moment has washed away. Suddenly, I can’t wait to meet my daughter!

I’m going to email my boss and let him know I won’t be in at all this week. I’m sure he won’t be thrilled about it, but he’ll figure it out. As much as I’d love to believe the company will fall apart without me, I know that’s not true. I’m going to go in bright and early and give my DNA sample, and then maybe I’ll go buy a few things for Davinder myself.

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