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I’m standing outside the coffee shop wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. Why would I leave without talking to him? I’ve got to collect myself and go back in there and at the very least cuss his ass out. He’s earned THAT! I walk back inside and he’s hunched over in his chair massaging his temples. I quietly retake the seat in front of him, and he looks up shocked, but he doesn’t speak. I feel like we’ve been sitting at this table staring at each other for hours, but it’s probably only been a minute or so. I think he’s waiting for me to say something. I desperately want to say something, but I can’t form words right now. When I get really angry, it’s almost impossible for me to speak, and right now, I’m angrier than I’ve ever been. I want to yell at him, but I also want to storm out again. This is a tough spot for me. I’ve always been pretty judgmental toward people who make a scene in public, but in this moment, I finally understand how someone can be pushed to the point of acting a plum fool, as my Mom would say.
“Say something, please. Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
You don’t want to know what I’m thinking right now, Vincent.
“I do want to know. I need to know. We have a lot of things to figure out, Eve.”
The only thing he needs to figure out is how he’s going to fair while he’s in prison. He’s very attractive. I can’t imagine that’s a good thing to be when you’re locked up.
Okay, I need you to help me understand why you thought it was okay to steal my eggs. Do you have any idea how difficult of a process it is to get to the point of freezing your fucking eggs? Do you even care?
“What? We didn’t steal your eggs! Dr. Halyard told us he was using donor eggs. He lied to us.”
You mean to tell me the Dr. who offered to secretly give you expensive fertility procedures at a discounted price is also a liar? Get the fuck outta here! That’s crazy!
“Look, I know it was wrong-ish, but I desperately wanted a child, and we just couldn’t afford to keep paying Windham. I love Davinder with all my heart and I’d do it all over again if I had to. She is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m not sorry she’s here, and believe it or not, I’m just as devastated as you are, albeit for different reasons.”
What in the hell do you have to be devastated about? You got to be there from the beginning. You got to see Davinder be born, cut her first tooth, say her first word, take her first step, and everything in between. There’s no fucking reason for you to be devastated! You have no idea how punchable your face looks right now. I missed the first 4 years of my child’s life! Our devastation level is NOT the same!
My blood is boiling. I wonder if there is steam coming out of my ears.
“I’m devastated because I could go to prison behind this. Imagine what that would do to Davinder. I know there’s nothing I can say that will make it up to you, but I didn’t do this to you on purpose. I thought we were using the eggs of some young, fertile woman who was just looking to make some extra money by donating them. If I’m being honest, it felt like we were committing a victimless crime.”
There’s no such thing as a victimless crime, Vincent. That’s just what you told yourself so you wouldn’t feel bad about breaking the law. And, why do you keep speaking only about you? Where’s the woman Davinder knows as her Mother? Seana, is it?
“She never really wanted kids. She just went through the process because it’s what I wanted to do. Unfortunately she never really allowed herself to connect with Davinder. We officially divorced a couple of years ago, and I haven’t laid eyes on her since.”
Uh…sorry to hear that. I guess.
“How’s the air up there on that high horse of yours, Evening?”
Ugh, I cannot believe his nerve. How dare he sit in front of me and act like I’m being irrational about this situation?
Are you really going to act like I have no right to be upset? Is that really how you want to approach this?
“I’m not trying to minimize your feelings, but you’re not even trying to see this from my perspective.”
I don’t have to try to see this from your perspective. I’m the only person here who was truly wronged. And, aside from that, I just found out about this a few days ago. I haven’t had the luxury of time to get over the fact that I was fucked out of birthing my own child, who happens to be 4 years old, and also has NO IDEA I EVEN EXIST! So, don’t take this the wrong way, but fuck your perspective, Vincent!
He’s stunned into silence. I think I may have hurt his feelings. I don’t even care though. I’m pissed, and he’s being selfish. Maybe I’m being selfish too, but right now I can’t see past my anger.
“Well I can see where Davinder gets her attitude! Listen, I don’t know what else to say. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you have to calm down. This is a bad situation, and there’s no getting around that. But, we have to figure out how to move forward. We can’t dwell on how we got here. The bottom line is we’re here. What do we do now?”
I’m going to pretend he didn’t just tell me to calm down. I need to focus.
I don’t know what we should do now. I feel like my life is moving at light speed. I’m having a hard time keeping up, and it really feels like the universe is fucking with me.
“I kinda understand that feeling. I mean, obviously we’re on different sides of this, but my life has drastically changed over the past year as well. I need a resolution to this, preferably one that doesn’t involve me spending any time in prison. Look at me! I’m too pretty to be incarcerated.”
You probably should have thought about that before you started doing shady shit. What are they telling you? What kind of charges are you facing?
“Honestly, they haven’t really said much. My lawyer is trying to work it out so that I don’t get into too much trouble. I might have to testify against Dr. Halyard one day, and I’ll gladly do so. I just want to be there for our daughter. She means the world to me.”
I have no doubt that he loves Davinder. I can see it in his eyes. I can’t let him off the hook so easily though. I’m still pissed, and it’s going to take more than a few heartfelt words for him to earn my forgiveness.
Where’s Davinder now? Is she in daycare?
“She’s at summer camp, and I have to get going soon because I told her I’d pick her up early and take her to Centennial Olympic Park to play in the water fountain. I don’t know if this is a good idea or not, but you should come by the park and meet her.”
I don’t think I’m ready for that right now. Let me see the picture one more time.
He turns his screen around again, and I quickly snap a picture with my phone.
“I can send you as many pics as you want, Evening.”
This will do for now, but I think we should exchange numbers. We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.
“You’re right about that. I’ve gotta get going. If you change your mind about coming to the park, we should be there in about 45 minutes.”
I’ll think about it.
“All things considered, I’m happy to have met you like this, Eve. I can’t wait for you to meet our daughter. I think you two will hit it off.”
The sparkle has returned to his eyes, and suddenly I feel that flutter in my stomach again. Damn, he’s fine! It’s too bad I’ve gotta make his life a living hell for the foreseeable future.
Get out of here, Vincent. I’ll text you if I decide to swing by.